“A New Bull” by Comedian Jerry Clower
Three bulls are standing around overlooking a field full of cows when they overhear the farmer tell one of the cowhands to get the trailer ready to pick up a new bull.
The old bull snorts and says, “I’m a tellin’ ya what, there ain’t but fifty cows here that are mine and if’n that new bull thinks he’s a gettin’ any of my cows, well, he’s got another think comin’.”
The second bull says, “There ain’t but 30 cows here that are mine and that new bull sure ain’t get any of my cows.”
The young bull says, “There ain’t but 10 cows here that even know me, but I sure ain’t lettin’ that new bull have any of ‘em.”
A few hours later a tractor trailer arrives and the bulls listen as the air brakes let out a whoosh, then the trailer doors open and and the gate lowers what has to be the biggest, meanest, orneriest looking brahma bull they’ve ever seen. Great big hump on his back, huge horns, froth dripping from his jowls as he stamps and paws at the ground.
The old bull says, “Ya know, I’ve been thinkin, it’s mighty selfish of me to keep all them cows for myself, I might just part with a few of ‘em to be neighborly.”
The second bull says, “Ya know, I’m thinkin the same thing, no need for me to keep all thirty of them cows to myself, gets to be a mite tiresome.”
The young bull lets out a huge snort and starts stamping and pawin’ at the ground, raisin’ a huge ruckus.
The old bull says, “Woo boy, what’s a matter with you? Don’t you know that new bull will kill you?”
The young bull says, “I’m just makin’ sure that he knows that I’m a bull…”